holiday updates

Belated Merry Christmas everyone. our internet was crazy (i have a feeling Ella has something to do with it hahaha) and i just gave up after a million try, so i wasn't able to blog for days.

dec.24-25
nagmass lang kami sa Binan, but since Uncle Bob and Auntie Lita are home for the holidays, we spent Christmas there. which is okay. dahil mas maraming tao, so mas masaya.

i kinda missed it too. kasi last year we spent christmas at home. mas masaya talaga if there are kids around. my pamangkins went crazy over kuya allan in a santa costume. hahaha!

dec26

we were supposed to go out before and after Christmas we were all busy before the 24th so it was almost impossible. Gusto manuod ni Chase ng Tanging Ina, Nicole and I really just wanted coffee, and when we got to ATC we all wanted fried Mac and Cheese and decided to eat at Fridays. but the boys didn't want to spend too much on food, forever kuripot wala pa ring nagbago hahaha. so we decided on shakeys where we spent the same as we would if we ate fried mac and cheese (bitter talaga ako.) anyway, we had coffee after and hung out in Aplaya.

we saw Shiela btw.

dec.27
kuya paolo and i were watching how i met your mother and forgot all about the time. my dad hates it when we over sleep and he also hates it when we overwatch tv, so patay kami. it was already around 4:30 and we had to sleep, fast, before my dad finds out, oh but he did hahaha. we woke up at 12 , half the day was gone but who would've thought, andami kong nagawa, i finished south of the border west of the sun by Murakami. and i finished two artworks. nag-drawing din sila kuya and si papa, it was a fun sunday afternoon :)

may God forgive the mansons

yesterday was shitty but i'll still be shut about it, except that i will always remember it as the day How I Met Your Mother and Chase saved me a few minutes before today happened. and well, today was great until i listened to helter skelter and mentioned it. soon my parents were telling me about sharon tate and charles manson and all that sick stuff. way to go! really, now i feel extremely christmassy!!! sick sick people. i can't believe they actually exist. and my mom even wanted to show me pictures of the house, and the Helter Skelter on the walls, i freakin saw sharon tate, pregnant, bloody and all. and some people actually look up to this charles manson guy! they even have his face for tattoos. SICK! okay, i can now tolerate che guevarra wearing people who don't even know the hero, just leave that manson guy in the 1960s where he belongs. and way to go manson, you just ruined a potential favorite beatles song! NOW I'M STUCK WITH BLACKBIRD!

I hope i get my perkiness back tomorrow.

i hope noone reads this before christmas. curiousity is deadly.
MERRY CHRISTMAS. and as everyone might head out to post christmas parties and all the jazz (except me) i will borrow a line from my lifesaver, How I Met Your Mother:

a friend does not let a friend drink and dial.

christmas list

i don't really make christmas lists, its either because i am very materialistic and can't put everything on the list or i usually don't need one. this year, i will get everything i wished for. well, almost everything. but who am i to complain, the band-aid song is enough for me to be contented, i am after all VERY blessed compared to other people.

but i've decided to make a list. just because. as i've said i can't put everything here, but here are some of...
MY CHRISTMAS WISHES

1. World Peace
2. Jordi Labanda notebook
3. A 20-set staedtler pens :)4. Harajuku Lovers
5. Holga camera :)) (this or the classic black one, the white looks a little toy-ish)6. Moleskine Notebook


7. Mimobots (all of them! bwahahaha)
8. Christmas with Nathan and Danica

9. Adam Levine

10. James Mcavoy? Oh Yes Please!



11. The Eiffel Tower



12. The World! BWAHAHAHA
hmmm... so this is why i don't make lists. i get a little too overwhelmed. hahaha!
MERRY CHRISTMAS friends. Have a good one :)

yadda yadda yadda

ushered at the Kithara concert. i didn't think i'd enjoy it, my dad listened to a lot of classical music and it's not that i hated it, i just didn't like it as much. Denise and i watched the second to the last show. i like Canon in D and pieces by Vivaldi the most. i felt like i was being serenaded along with a hundred strangers. it felt nice. Sir Fojas is funny, they played one piece by someone anonymous, he said anonymous is the most prolific artist of all time. hahaha! Denise has a crush on that Franco guy, whose achievements are whoaaaa! He doesn't look as hot as when he plays though.


anyway, tonight's our christmas dinner (housemates) and christmas party (pantas)

.

dodoooodo

WORST CONNECTION. not exactly that big a deal. but if it's a saturday night. with not one good movie on tv. and your cousins just left and you're bored to death not to mention sick. the only thing you could do is download games and play big fish games online. but the connection is WORSE than Worst. well it's a completely different story.

anyway, andito sila Ella kanina. they stayed until 11, i think. i love my cousins so much, i can even survive the fat comments when it comes from them. they actually think i can get any guy, achieve whatever i want, even save the world, if only i was a little thinner. sweet no? hahaha! they weren't surprised i was getting fat. the house was literally overflowing with party leftovers because my mom had a week long celebration.

so anyway. will sleep now.

singhot singa

this is tolerable. i mean, if it isn't i wouldn't survive 4days. minsan kasi okay, tas minsan sobrang sama lang ng pakiramdam ko. and i'm the kind of person na hindi pwedeng iwan pag may sakit, nadadapress ako. all day today i was stuck in my parents room, playing big fish games, which later made me dizzy. tas tuloy tuloy lang ang pasok ng pagkain, buko pie, barbeque, banana cake, doughnut, and the list goes on.. and all day din, puno ng tao yung bahay. para kong patabaing baboy na maarte't kailangan naka-aircon.

so anyway, can you imagine wala ni isang magandang movie, and i was watching tv since 3 this afternoon. good thing, pinalabas yung partition. which i love. so okay, medyo hindi maganda yung linyang "she made me want to live again" natawa lang ako sa asar. haha! but i love the movie, i did not enjoy it as it is not the ending i wanted, but it is a good movie. at ever since naman gandang ganda lang talaga ko kay kristin kreuk. basta ang ganda. ang ganda ng scenes sa field, o nung naliligo sya sa ulan. ang ganda nya sa blue, orange at pink na tela. hahaha! anyway, the lead guy was familiar(and kinda cute too) but i couldn't remember where i saw him, so imdb-ed him. so guess where?? The Guru! The Truth About Love! HAHAHAHA! so i have to say, gusto ko ang pagkalabas nya sa Partition. i totally forgot his other roles :) (names Jimi Mistry by the way)

oh well. basta sana magaling na'ko bukas. masakit umubo, parang sasabog parati yung ulo ko. at nakakasawa suminghot at sumingha.

sick

sick. feels like there's a big lump of puto bumbong stuck in my throat.
yan tuloy, i missed mama mia, which we were supposed to watch last night pero dahil nga deretso tulog ako, hindi na.

i've got 5 classes today, madugo compared to the two classes i have during TTh, plus its raining crazy. and i forgot my leggings, so all i have are shorts and pants, edi nagpants nalang ako. grr.

i enjoyed last night's reading workshop. pero feeling ko there's something about Nikki and Nica's house. last time i was there for reading workshop i also got sick and went straight home to sleep. but anyway i was sick since early morning yesterday kaya wala kong karapatan manisi. hindi ko rin alam kasi kung san ko to nadampot. pero shet talaga, higit sa lahat ayoko ng sipon eh. ayoko ng sakit sa lalamunan, yung tipong masakit lumunok. grr

oh well. i'm built for life's unbearable and unfair situations. (yon. nagdrama pa eh)

hello

wala na'kong balak mag-english kahit kailan. joke. nakakadepress na talaga ang eng102. andami ko ng post na di tinutuloy dahil baka mali ang grammar. sheeeet! ayoko ng magsulat talaga.

anong kinalaman ng litrato sa post na to? wala. gusto ko lang ipagmalaki ang pagkakaedit. haha! at hindi ko isheshare ang secret ko, at hindi yun photoshop dahil hindi ako marunong.

ang boring ng buhay ko. grabe. wala man lang ako maikwento. maliban sa oo, ang ganda ng twilight. at hindi ako twilight fan, okay fine kinilig ako sa libro pero ang pinakaayoko talaga eh kapag ginagawang movie. pumapangit kasi. well, syempre mas maganda pa rin yung book. still hindi panget yung movie. ang ganda ni bella :)

so yun. wala na. wala na kong masabi. gumawa nga pala ko ng xanga. panglimang blog ko na ata yun?? so syempre hindi yun magiging active dahil loyal ako sa blogger ko. at sumubok akong ipersonalize ang theme, but no! loser ko talaga eh. ang hirap kaya.

so eto seryoso na. wala na'kong masabi.

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA :)

i would receive sure gifts this christmas.

an esprit watch from the parents :)

an ipod (the yellow one) also from the parents

wind up bird chronicle from auntie irene

and House of Spirits from Fr. Arnold

OK na yun. syempre gusto ko pa rin ng crocs na ipinapangako ni kuya. pero kung di mabigay, ok lang. solved na ko dito. haha! :)

I LOVE CHRISTMAS :))

...

so first there's jordi labanda, then craig thompson and andrea joseph, now there's sarah gaugler. the only filipino in my list. well sorta, i think she's only half-filipina. what does it mean anyway? half-filipina? whole human, half something. weird. so anyway, i discovered her thanks to my brother's moonlane gardens album (which i by the way LOOOOVE) and i spent an entire day that day googling her. because of her i wantaa tattoooo. ofcourse i did consider that my dad would kill me, so i easily sent that dream with the wind. she did some drawings for the new starbucks planner, which i won't get. i'll be satisfied checking out chase's. planners are a complete waste in my locker space, because i forget. the last starbucks planner i have is filled with drawings on the first few months, and then i forgot i even own one.

so anyway, i got a 7 in my spelling today, which is decent compared to the 3 i got last meeting. yes, embarassing. well, embarassing for everyone in that class since we're all commarts students, in UP for christsake. and i got 38 in the quiz. nakakatanga grabe. i remember complaining because we had effing subject-verb agreement for four years in highschool, and guess what? here i am in college, and i still suck.

so the greatest dillema of all is whether i will write my thesis in filipino or english. i got i.5 for both fil20 and fil21, under Sir Dumlao. i got 2.75 in eng1. problem solved?? well, actually the biggest problem is WHAT i will write. i'm clueless. i am studying magical realism since i don't think it will be discussed in any of my subjects this semester. it's funny how ideas often come to me in mass, and fortunately my mom doesn't get mad when i start asking for paper and pen in the middle of homily. haha

si tisa tumatagalog

may dalawang oras yata akong nakatitig sa dingding ng Big Dad's at kung hindi lang imposible, nakabisado ko na yata lahat ng nakasulat sa freedom wall nila. kahit minsan sumasakit na yung mata ko, sa kakatitig sa dingding o sa usok ng LB square at sa mga luhang kung pwede lang isuka ay bolimik na ko, nakatitig pa rin ako, at andun pa rin ako sa mausok, mabango at maingay na lugar na yon. ang nakakapagtaka at ang nakakatawa, kahit saan ko pa ibato ang tingin ko balik pa rin ng balik dun sa malalaking letrang FS, green at yellow ang kulay. lahat na ng posibleng ibig sabihin nun naisip ko na, friendster? for sure? feeling sick? forgetting sarah (galing sa forgetting sarah marshall)? fat slim? faster slower? falling stones? ferri swheel? joke lang. naisip ko na ata lahat saka ko nalang naisip na baka pangalan yun.

kung hinayaan ko, mapapanaginipan ko siguro yung lalaking nakanta dun. maganda ang boses at mukang mabait. sana nakaligtas ako sa isa nanamang gabi ng walang katapusang panaginip na di ko maala-alala pag dating ng umaga. pero hanggang dun lang sya, sa stage ng Big Dads hawak ang gitara nya habang nakanta ng mga malulungkot na kanta na para bang nanadya. hindi dahil sa ibang dahilan, kundi dahil hindi sya nakakalagpas sa tingin. hanggang dun lang parati. yun lang ang kaya kong ibigay.

hindi ako madrama. matagal-tagal na ng huli akong bumanat ng mga judith mcnaught na mga linya, pero ng nilulunod ng boses nya ang ingay ng halkhakan at iyakan dun sa sinumpang lugar na yun, nalungkot ako. sabi ni sarah, phase daw yun, yung lahat ng bagay tinatawanan, lahat nginingitian, tas paguwi nagmimistulang bahay ampunan ng luha ang unan. yung bang pag gising mo feeling mo natulog ka ng basa ang buhok. nakakatawa pero hindi ako tumawa. tapos na siguro ako sa phase na yun. siguro kahit wala akong boyfriend o kung ano man, may karapatan din akong maging malungkot. matagal na ring tuyo ang hinihigaan ko.

bago umalis sinulat ko yung pangalan ko sa isang lugar dun sa Big Dads. hindi ko alam kung bakit, papansin lang siguro. gusto ko bago ako umalis ulit, masulatan ko kahit isang maliit na bahagi dyan sa utak mo. kahit saan mo man piliting tumingin gusto kong bumalik balik ang mata mo sa isang malaking T, kulay pula. gusto kong wag mong kalimutan, gusto kong lumagpas sa tingin mo at sumama sa kung saan ka man dinadala ng kaluluwa mo tuwing nakanganga ka't dilat, mahimbing at nananaginip.

nagiisa kang lalaking dinadala ko sa kin. hindi ko man maalala ang panaginip, alam ko. dahil malungkot tuwing paggising.

hello hell again

haven't talked to anyone about it for a long time. it just didn't make sense, and people are getting tired with the story anyway, i know i'm tired. and i also figured it would stop hurting, or that IT would simply stop if i stop writing and talking about it. which is why my tears took me by surprise when i talked to Gel.

i'm okay. it's not just something i tell people when i try to avoid the conversation that is already way overdue. i really am okay. most of the time. i'm not over it, i'm far from moving on, but i've learned the best way to cope with pain, and it's to live with it. so for the past gazillion months, that's what i've been doing. lying to myself and living with it. and it isn't so bad as it sounds, really.

there are so many things to worry and be sad about that THIS didn't seem worthy of my time. for one thing, i lost nikko, i'd like to think he lost us but he doesn't seem concerned. i am anyway, sad and still shocked. but here i am, crying over Jin and PJ's semi-breakup. just because i would rather i had been lied to and be wooed and told the things Jin was told, than to live this boring pathetic life. ofcourse also because i was sad for Jin, but that's another story.

well i figureed it's the time of the year. and maybe the Ber-wind do bring something else than the smell of damp grass and the sound of Jingle Bells. maybe. maybe because it reminds me that this is what, the third christmas already, that i have been wishing for the same thing.

i can't wait to graduate!!!

on notebooks. haha

went to alabang yesterday, supposedly to buy myself a cute notebook. i didn't find any, because still the cutest notebooks can only be found in fullybooked, even the ones in powerbooks look shitty compared to it. ofcourse im a little bias, because jordi labanda notebooks are sold there :))

so anyway, because it's depressing to go home empty handed i bought a small black notebook, that looks a lot like moleskine, except cheaper. yey!

so, another anyway, yesterday i hung out longer at the arts section than in the fictions area. that's both weird and scary. my mom was checking out some of my drawings a couple of days ago, and she said "baka dyan ka sumikat" after she said that, i went straight to my room and started reading. it's scary, me devoting more of my time in my sketching than in writing or reading.

the trip to CSB the other day made me realize i really want to pursue arts. but my first love would always always be writing. it's just new to me, i never wanted anything else but to write before. and now, i want to draw too..

hello few chosen friends who can read this blog. this is my christmas book list, if you want to get me a book this christmas do choose from The List:

• Chuck Palahniuk's Lullaby
• Philippa Gregory's Constant Princess
• Any Haruki Murakami book (except Kafka on the Shore and After DArk which i already have)
• Ernest Hemmingway's A Moveable Feast
• Isabel Allende's House of Spirits
• Joanne Harris' Chocolat

that's it for now. although i think i will be buying Chocolat next week, or maybe Lollipop Shoes if i resist buying another Haruki Murakami book. i don't know what it is with this japanese guy, his works confuse me to the core and yet, and yet i love him. i enjoyed After Dark even if i don't think i understood it. haha!

hello

kuya paolo promised me his macbook pag bumalik daw sa 135 yung weight nya. told him it's pretty impossible. and then mama chimed in, that it is in the impossible that God makes a miracle. haha! my brother is also selling me his macbook, for 40k. that's 20k cheaper than the original price, but still i don't want a secondhand mac, unless he gives it to me for free. which is impossible, unless a miracle happens and he loses a million pounds.

anyway, had fun fun fun at the cemetery last night even though sobrang daming tao. i always enjoy the company of my cousins, plus i missed all of them so much :)

so far, i'm done with Memories of my Melancholy Whores, and After Dark. i'm off to One Hundred Years of Solitude.

plurking

i love you dear blogger account, but i've been busy with this:

Plurk.com

bored. bored. bored.

potato fries for lunch. just so i have a reason to use the deep fryer :)

let me be kafka

i'm planning my escape.

i wanna go biking in Tuscany, sight-seeing in Santorini. or learn Japanese so i wouldn't have to look stupid and lost in Japan. i wanna see the Eiffel Tower, and sip coffee in the cafes in Paris. Eat Tapas in Spain. swim naked in Kuta Bali (or not). do whatever illegal things that's legal in Amsterdam. i wanna lie on my back on fields of grass and let the Aurora Borealis tuck me to sleep and ride a gondola on the canals of Venice. I wanna

mostly i just wanna run away. to the farthest place my feet can take me. and the only sure thing is that i might see Aurora Borealis, and Niagara Falls. or Denise might be able to order me some Tapas, what with her Spanish-speaking skills? haha!

i know that some things don't come out right, i don't wanna leave the people i love. it's just, even though i know it's nothing else but cowardly, escape is my only way

pop art madness

POP ART Madness

there's so much to do. pero bored pa rin ako. dahil dyan, to the rescue ang photobooth ni kuya.

mga rare moments na i actually love my hair :) don't get me wrong, there is no way na magpapakacrazy ako ulit at papagupitan yan. can't wait for my hair to grow.










the first picture reminds me of marish, kamuka ko sya dyan, hahaha napapunta tuloy ako sa friendster nya bigla. haha!

LOSER

bakit ba ang LOSER ko?

Gusto ko ng umalis dito. AYAW KO NA DITO!

dreams come true.

for the entire day my mind is preoccupied by this dream(which some chosen people, thanks to my informative gm, know) i had this morning. and i wondered if it's possible for me to lose my head over depression, but who am i kidding? i was able to survive the last three years so i can't think of anything that could possibly make situations worse except that the longer i stay, the more i get drowned.

oh well. atleast my day was a little better thanks to shopping. aside from the new clothes, i got myself new staedler pens, a unipin pen(because i was right, the pilot drawing pen i used is not available here), chaka two new books! Haruki Murakami's After Dark, and Gabriel Garcia Marquez' Memories of my Melancholy Whores. i'm so happy!! really.

about the dream:
Miggy: so what's so bad about that?
Me: edi yung waking up part. tas you're lying in bed for the next half hour thinking, IT WAS SO REAL! haha
Miggy: well, dreams do come true.

yeah, they do, don't they? for princesses, and poor matchgirls in storybooks. but for the rest of us, dreams remain in our sleep.

math11 sucks. or maybe it's just me. tinuturuan ako ni chase kaninang madaling araw and my mind flies, i can't focus when someone i'm talking to is talking about numbers. nakakaasar.

but forget about that. i'm ready for math22 anyway.

1st semester is finally over. i was a part of two succesful plays, i've got new friends, and well it's a good semester if you leave out a LOT of things. anyway, i've planned out my sembreak although i'm sure to be bored anyhow.

my to buy list includes:

• staedler pens
• pilot drawing pen (o2 and 03)
• a new sketchpad (my last one's ready to retire)
• a haruki murakami book
• a gg marquez book

so pretty much, i'll be doing lots of reading and drawing. IM DRAWING AGAIN! which is good. because i love my new kind of art. my brother says its good, so that's good enough for me. and frankie says ang galing ko daw. well, out of all the other compliments, those two is what matters. first because my brother is the master (joke) and second because franco is kupal.

speaking of franco, the other night, at the prod party while everyone is enjoying the airconed rooms and there were probably just 7 of us left awake we got into a serious conversation. first about why i couldn't get over he who must not be named (how original), about writing (my favorite topic) and well, lots of stuff. i love conversations with franco even if he inserts theories and all that intellectual stuff only he understands, because i get a lot from it. we talked about writing, how i'm afraid to find out that i can't write. because i'm not good at it, and the only thing that keeps me writing is because i love it (and i usually get teary-eyed during this part haha) and he said that in writing, it's all you really need.

edward stole my heart

i am going to take my math11 final exam tomorrow morning. and i'm going to fail. thanks to Edward. and his unbearable and irresistable perfection. this is all my fault i was too arrogant to admit i'd fell inlove with the guy, now i can't even sleep without thinking about him. like Bella, i was probably saying his name in my sleep too. darn it. i'm hooked. whatever drugs stephenie meyers was on when she wrote twilight, i. must. get. hahaha! it doesn't matter that it's not as well written as, say, unbearable lightness of being, who cares!! i haven't smiled so much, haven't felt this kilig over anything my whole life. and i also haven't felt this way for any other characters in any book or movie i've read and watched.

hahaha! i know i sound crazy. i am. i know i must study and that's exactly what i will do after this entry. and maybe i could read one chapter every after 10 minutes of studying as a reward. hahaha! i'm going to regret this for sure.

i think leighton would've played a better bella, and ed westwick for Edward. ugh, cedric diggory doesn't live up to my expectations, well so will anyone else. but atleast put someone a little extraordinary looking. nevertheless i'm still excited about the movie. will watch it with denise and ehm, probably pen too, hopefully.

a very special love

last night was el laberinto's production party. syempre, tulog na naman lang ako. hahaha!

anyway, watched knocked up with kuya paolo this afternoon. then we watched lucky you (ang hot ni eric bana). when he left ma and i watched a very special love. i know i'm not much for tagalog films but God! ang hot ni john lloyd. kelan pa sya naging ganun kagwapo? grabe nahihiya nalang ako sa mga sinasabi ko. hahaha! and Sarah's funny. i just love her.

basta. ang HOT ni JOHN LLOYD!

jumajaipur

since it's 2 am and i've got nothing important to do, i'll post some pictures from last saturday's night out with highschool friends :)
more on multiply.

with klara and gehn

with my bestfriends :)

happy man yo

ANONG SIKRETO NI HAPPY MAN? gusto kong malaman.

the first and last time math and marquez will be mentioned in one entry

just finished my second math exam, as expected, it was hard. the only difference is this time, i didn't feel depressed. maybe because i already accepted the fact that i suck at it. i was rushing the multiple choice part when i saw half the class leaving, i was excited to tell Denise and Ehm what my answer in the last part was, because i was certain it's right. and you could just imagine what kind of happiness that would bring me to get one problem solving right, and they were waiting for me outside the lecture hall, hopeful that it'll be their last time there, i was telling them that i got 3 and 12 on all sides, all excited only to find their blah faces. you know, the kind of faces you give when you don't know how to tell someone they're wrong...again. haha! it doesn't matter anyway, i'm used to it. and i'm prepared to take math11 again next sem. yeesss! another round of chase patiently explaining damn solutions to me. i remember how Tj was explaining how he got 1 as an answer in one problem and i started bawling like a stupid little poor girl on a toy store. bah! i know how to add my jeans, and count my change. that's all i nedd right? right. that and an accountant.

it's still early and already i'm done with angelo lacuesta's mermaid heart (which won the palanca) and tattoo. well they're just short stories so they're really nothing to brag about. but still, it's a little productive for someone as idle as myself. i liked tattoo, even if there're some medical terms and my father would've been disappointed if he ever found out it got me baffled. i liked it, not because my mom's name was mentioned ha, i liked it, just because.

anyway the semester's on the cliff, i'm just about ready to jump anytime soon. i can drop dead with all the failing or almost failing grades i will receive, but i can just fly and do better next time. okay, that was cheesy. but i've got high spirits. i always start the sem right, and then i get addicted to productions, and well, everyone knows what happens next. the rest of my academics suffer. i can't wait for sembreak, it's as promising as the rest of my past sembreaks. haha! Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Neil Gaiman are waiting for me at home. i'm crazy excited. i have to do some readings for my creative output/thesis and they're on top of my list. surprisingly, magical realism is the theme of my novel. exciting? scary.

i'm scared like whoa.

but it's chase's bday

papa's home.
i still don't know how to tell him i have to go to temple on saturday. he'd be leaving next sunday, so he probably won't let me and it'll be too bad because it's chase's bday.

i'm still thinking if i really should go. i'm not a party person anyway. but it's chase's bday.

and i don't trust his driving much. because he got into an accident somewhere in alabang, not serious but still. but it's his bday.

darn. what to do?

I was hurt more than i was angry. that was the truth. because you were good to me Nikko, and whatever evilness you have in you i refused to see, because like gel, i was your biggest fan. i don't want to hate you. sometimes i wonder if it would've been better if we never found out, but then you'd still be hurting vane. you should've seen her cry, i never hated you more than that exact moment. i swear to God i swore i'd never talk to you again. not after what you did. to her. and to us. i wasn't the one you cheated on. but i felt betrayed too. because we've been friends for so long and i felt as if i knew you,

i loved you nikko, you were my bestfriend. there were some things that i could only tell you, and for good reasons too, you always listened. i thought was being cruel for not listening to your defenses, but for what? what could you possibly say to make cheating right. and with seven other girls? i look back and try to see how you could be the nikko i knew. and no matter how hard i try, i don't understand.

i know this is not about me. but Nikko, i wonder how you could've done this. i wonder how you could hurt us like this.

.....

still waiting for the mathh11 midterm exam results. although i'm pretty sure it won't be something worth rejoicing.

el laberinto dela verdad will be staged on monday and tuesday, yeeesss! tapos isang prod nalang tapos makakapagpahinga na ko. pero syempre hindi rin, wala kong pahinga. okay, i did sleep from 11 pm last night til 5:30 am this morning, then i went back to sleep around 8:45 and woke up at 11. so i guess, pahinga yun, right?

papa came home this weekend. we had dinner with some of their old friends at tito Dennis' house. yon. everyone was having fun, laughing, drinking wine, even kuya rammil's enjoying himself, i was at the sofa, sleeping. god i'm tired. then the next day we had lunch at superbowl with auntie irene and we watched wall-e! it was fun :)

by now, it's safe to say that my life is BORING.

anyway, vincent was here last week. i think he had fun. kahit pa medyo nao-OP daw sya minsan. he calls Chase bayaw now, so i guess boto na sya kay chase, haha!

so. run thru ngayon for el laberinto dela verdad and i still haven't memorized the alamat. and i also have to prepare for tomorrow's report, and i have to read agyu. the latter being the worse i have to do this week. haaaaay!

updates galore..or not

the cultural night is officially over, now i can focus on my production..or not.
still have a lot of things on my head, just got home from my math11 mock exam. ayokong magmath22!! i hate that i have a knack for sucking at everything. it's frustrating. once (okay, twice unless you want to take comsci11 instead) in a comarts student's life, one has to take math electives, and one would realize that truly, shit happens!

on a lighter note, i am harboring a schoolgirl crush on someone. which is actually insane because i haven't had this feelings since Desa, and that felt like a long time ago. but what's even crazier is that ... she's a girl. i know, i know. but like i said, it's just a schoolgirl crush. and she's not lesbo, mind you, she's actually a little girly.

dad's coming home tomorrow. yeeha!

i actually have more rantings, but i'll save it for tomorrow. it's early in the morning and i'm still on a good mood.

movie update

just watched Evening. the trailer's better than the movie, but i still liked it, i just expected more i guess. oh and, Buddy broke my heart. dahil dyan, i have a new crush, Hugh Dancy. yey! who, according to imdb would also appear in Shopaholic (yey!) as Luke. so you can guess i'm not a harris fan, i just don't get what makes him attractive. but buddy, oh buddy. i have to say, the drunk look, curly hair, and pathetic-ness works for me.

"Wittgenstein, Schmittgenstein. What's for lunch?"

it's really freaky that the girl who played the young meryl streep look exactly like her. it turns out she's her daughter. oha. kaya naman pala. anyway, ang totoo im a little disappointed cause i waited for this movie, the trailer really made me sad, i don't know maybe it's one of those movie you have to watch twice or something.

oh well. i enjoyed it naman. kahit papano.

grr

so i wrote this really long entry about the things that has been bothering me.
you know, the usual stuff, insecurities along with a few dreams i've been keeping in boxes, collecting dust. and i don't know what happened. i just lost it.

and this stupid thing is supposed to save it, right? like it says so down there next to save now. this supposedly intelligent blog usually saves automatically. di ko alam kung anu nangyari. shet talaga. ayoko ng ulitin cause i can't.

good for you though. nasave ka sa reklamong bonggang-bongga.

kung anu ano

my dad will be home in 14 days. yey! :)

the thing is i'm not sure i'll be around when he comes home, no not because my thombstone will say 'death by play', and joining two plays is suicide but because i'd be super busy by then. hay. my french exam was easy, i expected it to be harder. pero dahil nakapagaral ako, yes, nasingit ko yun sa rehearsals and other non-acad stuff - muka namang mataas ako. except for spelling siguro, nakakairita, kung pera lang ang bawat letra then french spelling is a big waste of money. san ka nakakita ang basa dito ay keskese, tapos ang spelling ay qu'est-ce que c'est. oha.

o yun. dahil wala akong life except for rehearsals, di nalang ako magpopost ng kung ano-ano. nakakapagod mag reklamong pagod na pagod na ko.

anyway, i just saw some pics from kuya box. i really love this one :)

finally. kanina pa ko dapat nagbablog eh, but no, nareredirect ako sa kung saang page. virus, sakit sa ulo. wala naman talaga ko sasabihin, i'll only brag about my hectic sched next week, para kunwari i have a life. but really, suicide ako next week. in addition to my 7-10 tous les jours rehearsal, i also have a COMA105 exhibit, French script and exam, Fil21 quiz and finals tom na simula 3pm to 1am. tapos 8 am archery class the next day, waaaaaw man, ang sarap!

don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining, my body is. nightly rehearsals are not just line readings you know, we actually move our asses, bien sur it's not as hard as ate icing's workshop, but still masakit sa katawan ang shingga shingga na yan ah. and it's also not like it helps me lose some pounds, i compensate tiredness with pigging out like crazy. oh life is good. sarcasm makes it so much better.

Hinabing Pakpak ng ating mga Anak was probably the best play i ever watched. okay, okay, i've been a part of some of the best productions i've seen, but Dulaang UP's Hinabing Pakpak, is the best. seryoso. ok, i tend to exaggerate so i'm not going to say that their choreography is amazing, cause the truth is it's not so perfect. maganda yung movements ah pero, i don't know siguro dun may kulang. but the set, the performance, the costume-ang ganda! JC Santos? ANG GWAPO. okay, so i got this really crazy crush on Arnold Reyes when we watched Circa at CCP, i remember fantasizing about him for a couple of weeks, matagal tagal din, inaabang-abangan sya sa commercial. haha! this time, it's JC Santos. younger than Arnold Reyes, oha. and talented too. plus he signed my playbill. grabe the things i do to embarrass myself. haha! he asked me the title of our play. tsk tsk, should've asked him to watch.

anyway, i saw some of the photos from the UP Dil. people. pero onti plang. eto yung iba:

this is by mabel, b-an's beffy.

this is by kuya box (boks)

wala pa yung sa isang girl, yeah the one who drives like crazy. yon, wala pa. i won't post hazel's pictures kahit pa natetempt ako. haha! macocompare kasi. she's so pretty. actually this experience made me very insecure. oh well, i'll get over it.

realizations yo

realizations yo.

1. i'm a dreamer. it's both scary and promising.
2. i'm not photogenic. for someone so vain, this is disappointing.
3. i'm so insecure. the people around me are getting tired of the 'im not good enough' 'im not pretty enough' lines. i can't help it. (sorry pen)
4. i'm a hopeless romantic. aren't we all? there is romance in denying it too, for those who wouldn't admit.
5. i'm dependent. i lean on to people to help me fix my life.



andaming nangyari kahapon. masaya naman. kahit masuka-suka nako sa lrt. salamat vincent at pen. salamat pen. :)

chever

i'm so busy. i just finished reporting for pantas and i'm not even sure i can attend workshops thanks to rehearsals. the first few weeks of this semester i kept complaining how i've got nothing to do, ang aga ko pa nga natutulog, i don't think i'd be complaining bout it anytime this sem again. although im sure i will be complaining about my lack of sleep and my deteriorating social life. sus, social life. pero siguro naman mageenjoy ako sa rehearsal, i love the other actors. denise got the role of pakikisama, pen, kayamanan, ako si kagandahan. seriously. now i'm not sure if i can act or they just needed someone with a face for the role. bah. joke lang. ang yabang naman nun. pero kasi naman, i'm still bitter about not getting the inggit role. i auditioned for that role, it makes me think i'm not good enough.

oh well.

im going to start another blog, soon. i know, i know, pang apat na active blog ko na yun. and it's not like i write all the time. anyway, the fourth blog will be solely for my creative output, mga plans, ideas and stuff. yon.

dad's leaving tomorrow. he left a couple of times before. who'm i kidding? he left a lot. he doesn't want to anymore, he'll only be there for a month, then he'll come back for the weekend, and leave for a month again, then come back.....well you get the picture. he's old. and tired. sleeping alone in a hotel room is not exactly his idea of fun. and he hates me too, because i couldn't back out of tomorrow's photoshoot. eh kasi naman they moved the date because i thought papa was leaving last week so they moved it to this week, tapos magbabackout lang ako. and c'mon, he was the one who taught me to commit and stick with it.
plus, the photoshoot excites me. well, it's a balance between excitement and fear. for one, i'm not photogenic and i'm not comfortable with posing, because i hate my body and i hate my hair. yown.

i have to sleep now. i have to get up early tomorrow for mass.
goodnight. goodnight.

catching up

my last entry was july13, for someone who used to blog twice or more a day that's a little weird. kahit ako, di ko maintindihan kung bakit natatamad akong magsulat. ngayon pa, kung kelan ako nagaaply sa Pantas. anyway, like i did the last time, highlights nalang.

forget it. tinatamad talaga ako. i have to write a suicide letter, deadline's on tuesday. no, hindi ako suicidal at wala akong balak magpakamatay. it's a requirement for Pantas. eh ewan ko ba, for someone who's morose enough to actually kill herself (joke lang. medyo lang) i can't write a freaking suicide letter. napaka-trying hard ko kasi. haha

ang sarap maging single. pero nahihirapan ako lately, kasi andaming problema sa pag-eeffort kong makapagmove on. o diba? may ganung moda. pwedeng pang suicide note shet.

i have to remember everything i'm supposed to do for the following weeks.
hmmm.

July26: TJ's concert (Verve)
July29: suicide letter deadline
Aug3: Diliman Photoshoot/Papa's departure
Aug4: Denise's Birthday Parrrrty
Aug5-8: PR Campaign for Caballeros (Free Coffee and Exhibit)

highlights

i'm actually not in the mood to write, but since i'm awake so early and i have nothing to do anyway, i figured what the heck. and since i don't have anything crazy or whatever to write about, i'll write about the highlights of my past weeks.


selle and weng back in the apartment.

we had an italian night during the first week of classes. the pizza, the pesto, the roasted chicken, the works. parang first sem lang.
and they were also here last week, kasi nagvideoke kami dahil may dalang magicsing si denise.
tine's missing, but she goes to the apartment a lot, only i think she goes straight up to the boyfriend's apartment.

Joseph and Ehm: Finally together
so she's been going up a lot too, and i often find myself alone in the apartment.
or with mark and denise, playing cards or doing whatever just to stop ourselves form sleeping early.
okay, a bit exaggerated , although some nights were like this though, dagdagan mo pa ng pancit canton.
anyway, i'm happy for both of them. ehm's really happy and she deserves to be.

Burger King Date
we've been going out together or staying in the apartment a lot lately, i know it won't be like this once 'real' studying starts. so i'm enjoying it.
we went to burger king, the second week of the school year, i think. we didn't stay long though, we all had lots to do at the apartment. i had fun.
eto yung mga klase ng araw/gabi na i don't care if i eat a lot, if i gained a couple of pounds in just one sitting, basta masaya.

Diliman and Trinoma with Pen
ok. this did not happen in elbi, but anyway, ehm, pen and i went to diliman to buy the book for eng1.
tas nagtrinoma kami. ehm and i are so happy cause we already know how to get to trinoma, to boni, to diliman, from binan. feeling naman namin we can get anywhere just because of this.
also pen's been staying at the apartment for the past two weeks. i'm glad she became friends with chase, mark and tj.
she goes on a self-declared holiday and we have classes til 7, we go home and find our apartment squeaky clean.
next week, we're going to teach her how to cook, para pag uwi namin
may pagkain na rin. hahaha. joke lang.

i got a haircut...again.
i know. it's crazy. i miss my long hair, sobra. and i know i've been ranting about just how much pero i had it cut.
shorter than ever, i have no idea what's gotten over me. it's ugly.
when i had long hair, or even the last short one, almost every other day was bad hair day, but still there are days that they actually look decent, beautiful, even. eh ngayon, everyday bad hair day, seryosos. it's that bad. i won't even post a picture.

no dull moment
that should be posted right outside, in the middle of 102 and 103's door.
lately lots of things have been going on the apartment. meetings. videoke nights. card nights. inuman session. chismisan. i wonder when vane and gel would start suggesting their usual - poker and bingo. i crave quiet nights too, and we actually had one last week. pen, denise and i just watched clueless in marks room. and after that when most of the apartment people has arrived, tumambay lang kami sa tapat ng apartment, para magchismisan at kung mag anu pa.

oh yan. yan lang naman talaga ang nangyayari sa elbi, nothing about acads. joke lang. well actually, i've tons to do for acads. i've to memorize my lines for the scene study chever for thea108. i've to do a paper about agyu and a tanaga for fil 21. i also have to be done with the brochure, and study for coma105. maybe i could fit in a movie night next week. or atleast a dinner at bonitos. or not.

...

wala ko masulat kahit pa last week's eventful compared to the other weeks. nakakatamad lang. pero anyway, the other night i kept trying to write, may ilang oras na yata kong nakatapat sa laptop ko, alternating coldplay with vanessa carlton for inspiration, nakasama pa yata na that morning i was reading pablo neruda poems eh. ako naman talaga may kasalanan eh, hindi kasi ako makahindi kay nikko. now i only have 4 days left and i still don't have anything.

help me Lord. nakakabaliw ang pressure.

acad mode

subjects im assuming i will enjoy:

COMA105. Public Relations and Advertising. excited ako sa paggawa ng advertisements, print ads and stuff kasi i missed out on doing teasers and posters for the past productions i was involved in. I don't feel obliged to go to class even though i am, because it's actually fun especially since we have ma'am marcial for our prof.

FRENCH10. Bonjour! vous vous apelez comment? okay, that means what's your name? not exactly relevant, eh ano naman? plus our prof is like the cutest thing, she's like 5ft tall tapos buntis cute cute amph. she graduated from up diliman, european studies major in french minor in span. crazy, ano? okay so sitting beside nikko and biboy may not be the smartest thing at first, but i get the feeling they're enjoying it too.

ENG101. English Prose Style. The only reason i might enjoy eng101 is because i would have to actually write again, which i barely do now. at dahil marerequire ako eh manonochoice ako. and because i sit with hazel, millie, pen and jinee and i enjoy the snide comments and the 'what the?' looks we exchange whenever macansantos says something 'duh', which is like all the time.

FIL21. folklores and myths may not be my favorite topics, but sir Dumlao is my favorite professor. not only do i listen and space out only twice or so per meeting, but i actually enjoy it. andami kong natututunan and i also feel inspired to write after every meeting. it's amazing what effect sir dumlao has on his students.

ARCHERY. so i smell like shit and i sweat like crazy. but i feel like i just came out of an LOTR movie whenever i have a bow in hand. it's hard, not what i expected, but this is the only PE i took wherein i actually want to excel. gusto ko pa nga magvarsity eh, oha, but that was before i tried it. ngayon, ayoko na, mahirap pala kasi.


which leaves us with the three subjects i might not enjoy:

THEA108. i am extremely disappointed. i can live with not having sir Joey for my thea108 professor, but Jeremy is so... so... so not anything a major subject professor should be. i hate it. nakakadepress. nakakirita. and i thought we're gonna learn about grotowsky and stanislavsky. give art some pride, man. medyo hirapan mo naman ang discussion. oh right, he gave us a handout of supposedly 'technical' stuff about acting, tapos ang refference nya, take note reFFerence, ay yahoo something. what the??

LTS1. three hours? i have better things to do with my time. okay, so that sounded a little bit shallow. but really, three hours is such a long time, especially when we're just playing half the time.

MATH11. i hate math. as simple as that. although i have to admit i am enjoying sets because it's easy compared to actually solving problems.


in the end it's all the same because i'll probably suck in most of them. i hope not though, i want/need better grades this sem.

why i love elbi?

i just spent an entire week at elbi, well, actually not really. just since monday til early today. my schedule allows me to come home early on fridays, and it's not like i want to. i happen to love elbi like crazy and would spend an eternity there if i find someone to spend it with me, there. labo ba? i wait long for a lightbulb whenever i'm asked why i love elbi. bakit nga ba? ewan ko. kung ikaw taga-elbi ka, bakit nga ba? i used to think it's a disease you get when you stay there long enough, but i know some people who still left after 2 years of breathing uplb air (ahem, cy?? iya??).

napasakay ako ng 'up college kaliwa' sa jeep (nagtaas na nga pala ang pamasahe shiet) and so i have to ride it all the way from st. therese, to baker, to freedom park, to lib, before reaching sakay-my stop. i didn't realize how much i missed elbi. there were couples at the freedom park even though it was, past 12 i think and the heat was soporific and hot. i reminded myself that it is something i still haven't done, hang out at the freedom park i mean. ang totoo, there's a list of things i'm still to do here at elbi before i graduate. ang dami pang kailangan at dapat gawin, the two years left may not be enough. o diba ang drama?

pero i look back and i also realize na there's a long list of the things i've done in elbi, things i wouldn't have done, or i wouldn't have had the chance to do if i were somewhere else. like lying in the middle of the street in the wee hours of the night. like doing aerobics, or asian dance. and now, the one i've waited for for so long, archery. like taking a walk, mapa-tanghali man o mapa-hatinggabi, just because i feel like eating something, o para magpost ng teasers, may sama pang takot na baka mahuli. like skipping class for proven. like being a part of three wonderful productions. like getting a hopeless crush on someone, and following him in silly attempts to mimic a stalker. like making friends and keeping them. like falling in love, and falling apart all in cacophony with elbi wind. and then usually my head goes blank at this point, but there really is so much beauty in elbi, so much experience, so much love. i am so thankful i'm here. i am inlove with elbi and i will always be, one day when it is finally the time for my children to experience college, i would be very happy to see them here in UPLB. sana ganto pa rin kaganda, ganto pa rin kasarap ang buhay dito. ang totoo di bale ng sira ang mga electric fan, di bale ng minsan sira din ang mga prof, basta ba paglabas mo ng ncas o hum, eh may mga tao sa steps at pagpunta nyo ng raymundo di pa ubos ang proven, pagdating ng gabi kung meron mang practice ang prod eh may mga kasama ka sa sulok para magbreak, at pagkatapos may kasama kang kakain sa itsumo o tatambay sa iziz o magbibidyoke sa nyokys, sabay libreng strawberry margarita. sarap. ang sarap ng buhay elbi. walang katulad. walang kapalit.

i'll be back on monday. at siguradong this time, may klase na. i don't mind, basta ba it means i get to spend break hours with friends and i get to breathe elbi air again.

crazy talk

i've been planning to study abroad after college. although the real sure thing is that i will be leaving for canada right after graduation. studying fine arts at UST did cross my mind but i really want to experience studying far away from home and well, UST is and will always be two of my brother's well loved home. after several plans i came up with 'the one', the this-is-it plan. i'd be leaving for canada late april or early may and will be living there a maximum of two months, i will then visit some of my cousins in the states (and go to disneyland!) and then, i will go to paris to study. crazy? i know. I was this excited when i wanted to study at UP, but even that was a suntok sa buwan decision. because 1.) i'm not even in the top of my class and 2.) i'm like in the third class from the star section. my dad bought me this study by yourself book while some of my friends enrolled at MSA. i know even he doubted whether i could pass. but i did, and i'm hoping that this time the angels will work on my side again.

let's go back to the plan. ofcourse when i get there i won't be studying right away. especially since the tuition fee costs a bajillion times more than UP tuition. also because the smallest of apartments costs 650 euros. according to my research, minimum wage would sum up to 3000 euros a month, but the take home pay would only be 2,700 or so. minus the rent, the electricity, the laundry and stuff, you'd only get about 50 to spend daily. what about the supposedly money left for savings? for duh, what i was there for, university? if you really think about it, it's kinda depressing. my dad says i think a lot, and that it's too early to think about it. he said i should atleast be in junior year before i start worrying about studying again. but i'll be in junior year, in less than a week.

i really want to go, i don't want this to be something i wanted at some point in my life. because of this i'm changing a lot of things in my 5 year plan. i've always wanted to graduate early, and i would actually be graduating early compared to the usual 21 year old graduates, i would graduate from college the month i turn 20. so i though it would be okay to study some more, because if i want a masters degree, i'd be done with it by 22 or 23, which is not bad. but i've decided to take another 4-year course. i'd be taking up comparative literature minor in theater and performance or comparative literature. and because i would be working for a year or so, i would be 25 or 26 by the time i graduate. a little old to still be studying, i've always wanted to have my own family by 24. but i really want this, and the course i'm talking about would be under the department of arts and literature and where better to study arts than in france, right? who am i kidding? when i was a little younger i spent half my days plotting how i will meet david beckham, what i will say down to what i will be wearing. and then there was this day when i sort of just hit my head and asked, what was i thinking? it was depressing, to suddenly wake up and realize that you wasted weeks, or a month being delusional. it was also depressing because you know that you'll never meet him, or talk to him. funny as it seems, it's absolutely true about a lot of things in my life. this dream is one of them.

a while ago while i was washing the dishes, ma went inside the kitchen and out of nowhere i asked her if she thinks i'll be able to really study at AUP. she didn't laugh or shake her head, she said we'll work hard for it. she said we have some savings to spend. and i felt extremely sad. my parents are now in the time of their lives where they're starting to save up for themselves, because they're already old and tired. my dad wants to retire already but he's working because i'm still in college and because they also have to have money when they go to canada. and i have no intention of using their money to study again. that's why i had it all planned out, well, not exactly. i've done some computations, and there is no way i can support myself in AUP because it costs a lot. but maybe with a little help from ISLP or other student loan organizations. maybe i can try for scholarship. or you know, just whatever. i hate it when my dad calls me spoiled, because i felt that i worked hard for the things i want and that i pay for half the things i own, but the truth is i have it easy, i have a good life. i am probably just too ecstatic about the thought of studying arts abroad, but i know life will be hard. i already checked some apartments, and some chambre de bonne, and although they're a little bigger than my room, they're not exactly home. i would have to work at starbucks or some cafe, and that's if i'm lucky or if my french doesn't suck. i would be studying and working at the same time. i wouldn't have the luxury to eat good food or to once in a while buy myself something expensive. i would have to make ends meet, and i know that sometimes they wouldn't. i would also suffer from massive loneliness, and knowing noone there i would be all alone in dealing with it.....

....papa's right. i sorta think a lot. i just, i don't know, want this too much. i know if i don't get in, i'd be able to try out for other universities. university of manitoba's okay. but i just really want this one. and i want to make sure i try everything.

....

i'm keeping myself from writing. because i'm having bitter thoughts, again, and well, it's been awhile. i just don't want to go back again and i'm really trying this time. like really torturing myself by not writing anything about it. i don't know how long i can hold on like this. especially with nothing or noone to hold on to.

tomorrow is supposed to be the beginning of my summer.
now, that may sound senseless, but you see tomorrow i'm supposed to be going with some college friends to anilao, because bop's got a house there. and i could almost imagine the sand under my feet, i could almost see the beach. but no, chase just texted and told me it was canceled. i still don't know what happened. i am waiting for someone to text me the full details.

urgh. although i have to admit, though unproductive my summer has been full of 'going outs' and 'buying stuffs' i never really got anywhere other than manila and here in binan. you don't exactly get tan while frequenting the mall, right? and besides, my bikinis also have to get used you know. and the summer is the only decent reason to go out almost naked, so i have to enjoy it. i have to. or else my bikinis will be stuck in my closet til next summer. well, actually, i'll be going to subic this weekend til monday, but that's with the family. that's a different kind of fun compared to being with friends. and my dad don't usually let me go out with friends, and he allowed me two nights and three days without parental supervision. at the beach. it sounded so perfect.

so, maybe i'll just wait a little longer. for their text, i mean. and if it really is cancelled, i'll go to batangas anyway, drag whoever, nobody's going to stop me from enjoying this summer.

james

BREAKING NEWS!
according to perez hilton, it looks like james mcavoy will be paying bilbo baggins in the hobbit. that's the prequel to lord of the rings for the non-j.r.r. tolkien fans.

i don't know how to react. i knew the hobbit will be coming out, one day. the trilogy's done. and tolkien fans are probably dying to see the prequel in live action, to see if it matches their imagination. and with how big the trilogy was, both the lotr producers and director knew that the hobbit will be big too. but, ugh. james mcavoy? he's not so small. and, ugh, i just don't think, he's, wah! no, no, no. it just seems wrong. i mean yeah, he probably did well as mr.tumnus, although i really don't know because i didn't and couldn't watch-but as a hobbit? i just... *sigh*
okaaay, fine, that's probably gonna bring him good honor. that's the hobbit!! my dad says it's better than the trilogy, i wouldn't know, i'm still not half done with the book-and no i'm not reading it because it's gonna be a movie, and james mcavoy's gonna be in it. i think i mentioned i am reading it in one of my david cook entries. anyway, anyway, he'll prolly play the part well. it's just, bilbo baggins is a hobbit, duh, i just. he doesn't sound so hot in the book, how will they make james mcavoy not hot? oh right. they did just that in chronicles of narnia.

but because it's jrr tolkien, the creator of middle earth, i will watch it. it won't be as good as the book, i bet, but i'll watch it. actually, we should all watch it, it is said to be the greatest fantasy epic of our time (actually that's what it says on the cover)


oh well.

eat bulaga

I had my nail done this afternoon. and the people in this salon where i usually have my manicure and/or pedicure done are big Kapuso fans. so anyway they were watching eat bulaga and i don't know what the game is called, basta the contestants are asked a question and they are given the first letter of the answer as a clue. the question was:

"anong 'f' ang meron ang tao, pero walang tao ang magkapareho nito"

i thought it was sure win, i thought everyone knew the answer is fingerprint, but the lady said "face?!"
hahaha. oo nga naman. sana nga lang walang twin-looking people like michael v. and my brother, or jared leto and zac efron. hmm, wacha think? the other question was
"sa fairy tales, anong 'f' ang pag hinalikan ay nagiging prince?"
"frince charming?" hahaha! seryoso. and i thought things like this only happen in bob ong books. totoo pala. haha!
and the last funny one was
"kung ang ateneo ay eagle, anong 'f' naman ang adamson?"
...
...
...
"hindi ba fidgeon?" -michael v.
hahaha! i love michael v. if i watch gma, it's only because it's bubble gang and michae v.'s there. not only does he look like my brother but he's also funny. ofcourse, bubble gang gets cornier and cornier through the years- but still, it can sometimes make me laugh.

chapter 27

BEHOLD:
hot twins! ugh, i wish. that's just jared leto and zac efron. they look like each other, right? only ofcourse, jared is way hotter, i don't know about his music though, it's not like i tried to listen, i just don't think it'll be cool. and well, in the words of clark gable:

"frankly my dear, i don't give a damn."

anyway. i seriously need to watch chapter 27, although marish said it's no so good. still, i just have to , just to see how they made jared leto, unhot. here's a photo preview of the big change:you can't help but ignore the picture on the right. ugh

this blog entry is entitled: magsawa ka sa mukha ko.
sorry naman. when i'm alone and bored, i tend to be extremely vain. don't judge, we're all vain, nagkataon lang na ako saksakan. hahaha! besides this is my blog, so i can do anything with it, right?

ready??enlarge at your own risk

so anyway, cy left me a message at multiply. apparently the way way overdue pictorial photos for desaparecidos are now open for public. oha, soshal, may ganun. the moment i opened her multiply site because i just can't wait to get my hands on those photos, i saw HIS face. kinilig ako, hahaha! hay, crush nga naman. amf. ang corny. o anyway, here are the Desapics.

whatver

everytime i'm not online, i think of all these stuff i want to write about. but as soon as i open my blogger account, my head goes blank. ofcourse, i do remember the nonsense i am about to fill this blog with, i just can't seem to collect the thoughts to actually make it into seemingly meaningful and relevant paragraphs. oh well, i guess i would have to just, keep it simple:

• i should've taken piano lessons this summer. i've already forgotten to read piano sheets, i tried to play coldplay's the scientist the other day, and well-i need some lessons.
• i was planning to write about the CFC issue. to defend the real CFC. although i'm not sure i am in the position to defend the community, being inactive and all - but still, i am a part of it and i do have my say about it.
• i'm broke. i spent too much this summer, even though it sure feels as if i was deprived of any summer activities. turns out i did went out and bought a lot.
• i also gained a lot of weight which sucks because i remember spending a lot of time (well, 30 mins max) exercising with my brother. and because i bought a new bikini that would look extremely good in any body other than mine.
• i'm not a 'brand' person. but i currently have a folder in my notebook containing pictures of overpriced bags and shoes that i want to get a hold of. including miu miu vitello lux satchel, that costs $1,150.00, i found one at ebay that costs a little lighter, P15,000++ okay?! that helped. i know that i won't be able to buy it, but still, i open the folder every once in awhile just looking at it.
• junior year is coming and i'm more scared than my first day in college.
• i don't want to sound like every 18 girl i know, but i hate my hair (i don't know why i had it cut anyway) and i feel fat and boring.
• i want to watch sex and the city and win carrie's manolos at the same time.
• sooner or later it is going to dawn on me that i wasted this summer over nothing productive when i should've 1.) wrote a bunch of poetry for my thesis 2.) read like crazy 3.) watched season 4 and 5 of One Tree Hill 4.) watched sex and the city or oc or whatever 5.) studied piano again
• i'm ranting, aren't i?
  

ek trip

i was supposed to post this yesterday, but ended up downloading a bunch of songs in my brother's limewire. and a david cook video! :)
anyway, i was at EK last friday. i was with Ehm, TJ, Weng, Selle, Mak and Chase. ang kulang lang si tine, her mom's in the hospital so she couldn't come. the only time we got together outside Elbi was... south forbes swimming. we won't all be together next sem because, well, tine, weng and selle are moving out. so this might be the last housemate-get-together. and i actually thought we'll be together for four years.
anyway, twas fun. as expected. this is a dawning-summer celebration. and what better way to prepare ourselves for the grueling next months we call junior year but to have fun right?
i'm not making any sense, basta i had a blast! :)

i love you housemates!

...

WARNING: The following entry includes girly (and fr-fetched) imaginations of white lace and throwing of bouquets, you are free to puke your way through

today is zee 'rents 31zt anniversary. how cool is that?
today, David Cook won over Archuleta in American Idol. today is zee bezt diy evah! i sooo love David Cook and would marry him despite our 8 year age gap. i wonder how'd that feel, marrying a rockstar/singer i mean. i've fantasized about marrying a chef, wouldn't that be, like the coolest? you'd have someone to prepare you meals. someone to bake you cake. you'd be pissed off from work and would come home to a dinner you can't even pronounce. he'd be hot too, or not, he could look like Bobby Flay, that'll be just fine as long as he's also an iron chef

a painter, he'd paint you from a scene in his head. he'd memorize your face enough to draw you in different angles, different expressions like he's drawn you all his life. wouldn't it be the sweetest thing to one day peek into his art room, only to find a a score or more paintings of you. the day he first met you, the pink cardigan you wore with a fly-sized barbecue sauce stain in the left shoulder, the unsure yet calm look in your eyes and your lopsided smile.

a writer you'll write palancas together. drive each other mad with disagreement over The Hobbits. He'll recite poetry at dinner time, write you letters for no reason whatsoever, challenge your vocabulary from time to time. in your writing desks across each other, you'd be each other's number one critic, in bed, each other's number one fan. he'll win awards and you will too, and you'll celebrate it by writing another award winning whatever.

them, among a few more. like athletes, or professors or... well you get the point. doctors, never, i just don't think we could talk about anything, he'd be talking gibberish to me, now that i think of it he could prolly take care of me well, but i just don't see any artistic growth in a relationship with a doctor.) rockstars, well, even though i was sorta crazy bout Adam Levine for the longest time, i just, i don't know, didn't think of marrying him. but David Cook, hmmm, he must not be as hot as Adam, and though most would disagree with this, he's got a better singing voice. hmmm *dreamy* what would it be like married to a rockstar? maybe i should phone Gwyneth and ask her. if i'm married to David Cook, i'd make him sing nonstop in the shower. i'm definitely present and upfront in his every concert screaming his name like crazy. i'd have his poster over our headboard, and our doorbell would be his voice singing Dare You To Move. hahaha. i'm kidding. i don't know. i'd just probably kiss him plenty even with all the hair 'round his lips. idunker :)


(i guess it's really freaky that i imagine all this. i think girls all think of this-that or i really have a very wild imagination. oh well, one day when i read this again and felt extremely embarrassed about it, i could always delete it. right?)

2008 sched

Schedule
Time	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
7-8			MATH 11 - A	MATH 11 - A-4R	MATH 11 - A
8-9		PE 2-AY - AY-ST1	FIL 21 - B		FIL 21 - B
9-10		PE 2-AY - AY-ST1	FIL 21 - B		FIL 21 - B
10-11
11-12		ENG 101 - V		ENG 101 - V
12-1		ENG 101 - V		ENG 101 - V
1-2		COMA 105 - W	LTS 1 - EF2	COMA 105 - W
2-3		FRCH 10 - X	LTS 1 - EF2	FRCH 10 - X
3-4		FRCH 10 - X	LTS 1 - EF2	FRCH 10 - X
4-5
5-6		THEA 108 - Z		THEA 108 - Z
6-7		THEA 108 - Z		THEA 108 - Z

---

this is my schedule for next semester. i was so used to having 4 'working' hours a day, and now i feel as if i'm overload, even though this is only 18 units. it seems a lot because i've got lab for math11 and 3 hour LTS. sucks. and i was actually planning to drop my thea classes because they demand so much time, and i know i said they're addicting, and i love it love it, but i've got to focus more in writing now, and with my the rest of my free time now threatened to be given solely on theater, i may not have enough time to write or to pass french 10 and math11. and i'm really dying to get good grades this semester. i didn't know they'd give me thea108 so fast, and i don't want to drop what systemone gives me, it's too much hassle. even though i'm starting to hate the idea of acting. oh well, i guess i have to work extra hard, that or fail. and besides, i'm really blessed, i always get 18 units with no problemo, i have to start deserving it. it's the first time for me to have 7 am classes, and classes up to 7pm, ayayay, this'll be harder than i thought.

i will only be able to fit in lunch dates every wednesday afternoon. ugh. i hate 1 hour breaks, there's really nothing you can do with 'em but go back to the apartment and head back to the building. ugh ugh ugh! i'm going to psyche myself that i'm enjoying this schedule. and maybe, just maybe, one day i actually will.