updates galore..or not

the cultural night is officially over, now i can focus on my production..or not.
still have a lot of things on my head, just got home from my math11 mock exam. ayokong magmath22!! i hate that i have a knack for sucking at everything. it's frustrating. once (okay, twice unless you want to take comsci11 instead) in a comarts student's life, one has to take math electives, and one would realize that truly, shit happens!

on a lighter note, i am harboring a schoolgirl crush on someone. which is actually insane because i haven't had this feelings since Desa, and that felt like a long time ago. but what's even crazier is that ... she's a girl. i know, i know. but like i said, it's just a schoolgirl crush. and she's not lesbo, mind you, she's actually a little girly.

dad's coming home tomorrow. yeeha!

i actually have more rantings, but i'll save it for tomorrow. it's early in the morning and i'm still on a good mood.

movie update

just watched Evening. the trailer's better than the movie, but i still liked it, i just expected more i guess. oh and, Buddy broke my heart. dahil dyan, i have a new crush, Hugh Dancy. yey! who, according to imdb would also appear in Shopaholic (yey!) as Luke. so you can guess i'm not a harris fan, i just don't get what makes him attractive. but buddy, oh buddy. i have to say, the drunk look, curly hair, and pathetic-ness works for me.

"Wittgenstein, Schmittgenstein. What's for lunch?"

it's really freaky that the girl who played the young meryl streep look exactly like her. it turns out she's her daughter. oha. kaya naman pala. anyway, ang totoo im a little disappointed cause i waited for this movie, the trailer really made me sad, i don't know maybe it's one of those movie you have to watch twice or something.

oh well. i enjoyed it naman. kahit papano.

grr

so i wrote this really long entry about the things that has been bothering me.
you know, the usual stuff, insecurities along with a few dreams i've been keeping in boxes, collecting dust. and i don't know what happened. i just lost it.

and this stupid thing is supposed to save it, right? like it says so down there next to save now. this supposedly intelligent blog usually saves automatically. di ko alam kung anu nangyari. shet talaga. ayoko ng ulitin cause i can't.

good for you though. nasave ka sa reklamong bonggang-bongga.

kung anu ano

my dad will be home in 14 days. yey! :)

the thing is i'm not sure i'll be around when he comes home, no not because my thombstone will say 'death by play', and joining two plays is suicide but because i'd be super busy by then. hay. my french exam was easy, i expected it to be harder. pero dahil nakapagaral ako, yes, nasingit ko yun sa rehearsals and other non-acad stuff - muka namang mataas ako. except for spelling siguro, nakakairita, kung pera lang ang bawat letra then french spelling is a big waste of money. san ka nakakita ang basa dito ay keskese, tapos ang spelling ay qu'est-ce que c'est. oha.

o yun. dahil wala akong life except for rehearsals, di nalang ako magpopost ng kung ano-ano. nakakapagod mag reklamong pagod na pagod na ko.

anyway, i just saw some pics from kuya box. i really love this one :)

finally. kanina pa ko dapat nagbablog eh, but no, nareredirect ako sa kung saang page. virus, sakit sa ulo. wala naman talaga ko sasabihin, i'll only brag about my hectic sched next week, para kunwari i have a life. but really, suicide ako next week. in addition to my 7-10 tous les jours rehearsal, i also have a COMA105 exhibit, French script and exam, Fil21 quiz and finals tom na simula 3pm to 1am. tapos 8 am archery class the next day, waaaaaw man, ang sarap!

don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining, my body is. nightly rehearsals are not just line readings you know, we actually move our asses, bien sur it's not as hard as ate icing's workshop, but still masakit sa katawan ang shingga shingga na yan ah. and it's also not like it helps me lose some pounds, i compensate tiredness with pigging out like crazy. oh life is good. sarcasm makes it so much better.

Hinabing Pakpak ng ating mga Anak was probably the best play i ever watched. okay, okay, i've been a part of some of the best productions i've seen, but Dulaang UP's Hinabing Pakpak, is the best. seryoso. ok, i tend to exaggerate so i'm not going to say that their choreography is amazing, cause the truth is it's not so perfect. maganda yung movements ah pero, i don't know siguro dun may kulang. but the set, the performance, the costume-ang ganda! JC Santos? ANG GWAPO. okay, so i got this really crazy crush on Arnold Reyes when we watched Circa at CCP, i remember fantasizing about him for a couple of weeks, matagal tagal din, inaabang-abangan sya sa commercial. haha! this time, it's JC Santos. younger than Arnold Reyes, oha. and talented too. plus he signed my playbill. grabe the things i do to embarrass myself. haha! he asked me the title of our play. tsk tsk, should've asked him to watch.

anyway, i saw some of the photos from the UP Dil. people. pero onti plang. eto yung iba:

this is by mabel, b-an's beffy.

this is by kuya box (boks)

wala pa yung sa isang girl, yeah the one who drives like crazy. yon, wala pa. i won't post hazel's pictures kahit pa natetempt ako. haha! macocompare kasi. she's so pretty. actually this experience made me very insecure. oh well, i'll get over it.

realizations yo

realizations yo.

1. i'm a dreamer. it's both scary and promising.
2. i'm not photogenic. for someone so vain, this is disappointing.
3. i'm so insecure. the people around me are getting tired of the 'im not good enough' 'im not pretty enough' lines. i can't help it. (sorry pen)
4. i'm a hopeless romantic. aren't we all? there is romance in denying it too, for those who wouldn't admit.
5. i'm dependent. i lean on to people to help me fix my life.



andaming nangyari kahapon. masaya naman. kahit masuka-suka nako sa lrt. salamat vincent at pen. salamat pen. :)

chever

i'm so busy. i just finished reporting for pantas and i'm not even sure i can attend workshops thanks to rehearsals. the first few weeks of this semester i kept complaining how i've got nothing to do, ang aga ko pa nga natutulog, i don't think i'd be complaining bout it anytime this sem again. although im sure i will be complaining about my lack of sleep and my deteriorating social life. sus, social life. pero siguro naman mageenjoy ako sa rehearsal, i love the other actors. denise got the role of pakikisama, pen, kayamanan, ako si kagandahan. seriously. now i'm not sure if i can act or they just needed someone with a face for the role. bah. joke lang. ang yabang naman nun. pero kasi naman, i'm still bitter about not getting the inggit role. i auditioned for that role, it makes me think i'm not good enough.

oh well.

im going to start another blog, soon. i know, i know, pang apat na active blog ko na yun. and it's not like i write all the time. anyway, the fourth blog will be solely for my creative output, mga plans, ideas and stuff. yon.

dad's leaving tomorrow. he left a couple of times before. who'm i kidding? he left a lot. he doesn't want to anymore, he'll only be there for a month, then he'll come back for the weekend, and leave for a month again, then come back.....well you get the picture. he's old. and tired. sleeping alone in a hotel room is not exactly his idea of fun. and he hates me too, because i couldn't back out of tomorrow's photoshoot. eh kasi naman they moved the date because i thought papa was leaving last week so they moved it to this week, tapos magbabackout lang ako. and c'mon, he was the one who taught me to commit and stick with it.
plus, the photoshoot excites me. well, it's a balance between excitement and fear. for one, i'm not photogenic and i'm not comfortable with posing, because i hate my body and i hate my hair. yown.

i have to sleep now. i have to get up early tomorrow for mass.
goodnight. goodnight.