am i allowed to worry?

i have to know, if this joining the frat decision is really something you thought about for a looooong time. because it seems to me as if it's really not helping you. i mean, that's what it's supposed to do, right? it's supposed to help you. it's supposed to be a benefit to you, in some way. but i'm always afraid for you, especially now. and you're beginning to be afraid for yourself as well. i don't know if it's just me or is something really wrong about this situation. because i can't let you walk by yourself, i'm tortured by imagining you walking alone, vulnerable to hits and whatever them other frat men do. but i let you walk alone kanina, and the way home from square was kinda painful for me, and when we got home gel told me she was thinking about it too. we should've walked with you, that's the only thing we have to do to save you from danger.

this is really making me crazy. i know you should be my keeper and protector and all, but now it seems as if you're the one who needs protecting eh. oh and i hate to tell you this because i'm sure you'll hate me for doing so but im starting to believe that it was a stupid idea. i do. the only reason why i didn't stop you is because i promised myself that i'll support you and because you told us you can do it and i didn't want to step on your pride by saying "no." and i owe it to you to believe that nothing bad will happen because you did get through everything alive, but i can't help but get worried.