MUST study.
MUST stop reading Chuvaness.com
and MUST start trying to get my own life.
hahaha!

i don't know if it's just me, or other people's lives are really just so much fun!
especially when they're rich and famous. and they want Goyard bags and get Goyard bags.
or that their sneakers are, God forbid, worth atleast 25 of my Old Navy sneaks, just because they have the *tentenenentenen* Vuitton print. or that they think Topshop is actually cheap while the farthest i've gone inside Topshop is the door because i realize just as soon that i'll only be disappointed. or because they write a hell lot better, making their blogs a 'tad' more fun to read.

hmm. that must be it.
so anyway, i talked to Franco in class today:
"lola mo ba si Gilda Fernando?"
nods, "oo, bakit?"
opens mouth for a few seconds, "wala. galing."
"pinabasa sya sa inyo? may binasa kayong sulat nya?" (how many grandchild have their literature teacher/professor ask them to research/read about their grandmother's literary work/s?)
"hindi. wala lang. she writes in the paper, diba?"
"oo, philippine daily inquirer. hindi na masyado, medyo mahina na sya."
"oo nga." (thanks to chuvaness, im up to date with Filipino literary news)
opens mouth again, for 5 secons, i think. "galing talaga eh."
"hello!" Denise said in a 'heller' tone, "franco?? kita naman diba, it's in the genes" she said,
well i have to admit, Franco is pretty good in writing, well, not pretty good. GOOD. kay?

i was so jealous, i just wanted to know how it is to have a lola like that. but then again, i felt really guilty. i remembered my own lola, she introduced me to the Curfew Must Not Ring Tonight, to Children's Hour and other literary favorites, and she was the reason why my father is just as good in writing, why my father has read numerous classics and has memorized several famous and not so famous poems. if i become a writer, which i already am, but i mean a real writer in the 'high-tech world' sense that people from my extended network would actually know my name, there would be no other that fueled the very passion that keeps me writing but my lola. her name might not be read in other prominent people's blogs, or she might not be mentioned on newspaper articles and her name might not printed on a hardbound under a title of a book i know very well she could've written, but her name will reappear in my handwriting and in my words. i don't feel so jealous now. i have my own Gilda Fernando only her name is much more beautiful and more personal, Fe Gardon.

last show today

RASHOMON is officially over, words of congratulations will now officially be accepted (and received, hopefully). had a blast, the production in general is amazing and the feedbacks are wonderful, close to perfect talaga and im not saying this because im a part of it. ah basta, lots of kwentos to follow, but for now i'm dying to go home and rest. i have the weekend, but unfortunately i have already committed to some appointments, so i don't know if i could fit 'rest' in my schedule. but anyway, the sem's almost over, so a bit of patience and perseverance would do me good.

and by the way, i just found out that Franco (ComArts, batch 05) is Gilda Fernando's grandchild. hmm?

what i do best. RANT.

so early this morning i was reading Celine Lopez' and Gilda Cordero Fernando's column. yes, from two different newspapers. i couldn't even remember who writes for which just that they were in today's paper. i think.

so it's pretty tiring to read other people's lives. really. especially when they seem so heavenly, and yours is nothing to write about. but i keep reading simply because im hooked. last week i was so down about finding out how much writer's earn. but if you're the majestic Gilda Fernando who writes about 5 columns in the sunday paper (i don't know about the weekdays) you'd earn enough to feed a dozen children. but it's not like writers Jim Paredes, Celine Lopez, Tessa Prieto and Gilda Fernando need that extra thousands.

so as i was saying, i was reading Celine Lopez' column about internet. it was more like a blog entry about her love-hate relationship with the internet. she gets paid for it, i wonder when i will get paid for writing in my blog. oh. i guess when i become just as good, hmm, that makes sense. but what good is there to write about, lately i can't write about anything. i rant, that's what i do best. i sulk and get jealous. BUT REALLY, IM OK.

i'm not making any sense here. so anyway, i was checking out Chuvaness.com (stuff you won't read in the newspaper.) stuff you wish you read in your journal! i was getting all green with envy. again. just because these people live in the same country as i do, but they seem like somebody from the other end of the earth. i'd like to say that 'jessica zafra texted me...." too. i'd like to write about lunches with Dean Alfar and Socorro Villanueva, hahaha! but i'm a 17 year old writer wanna be, i don't write half as good as these people. and i don't even try.

one day i'm going to have a column too. and i'd write about parties and book signings. i'd be given complimentary tickets to plays and whatever. i'd write about countries i've been to over the weekend. but for now, i'm going to sulk and dream about it. haha.