i have to know, if this joining the frat decision is really something you thought about for a looooong time. because it seems to me as if it's really not helping you. i mean, that's what it's supposed to do, right? it's supposed to help you. it's supposed to be a benefit to you, in some way. but i'm always afraid for you, especially now. and you're beginning to be afraid for yourself as well. i don't know if it's just me or is something really wrong about this situation. because i can't let you walk by yourself, i'm tortured by imagining you walking alone, vulnerable to hits and whatever them other frat men do. but i let you walk alone kanina, and the way home from square was kinda painful for me, and when we got home gel told me she was thinking about it too. we should've walked with you, that's the only thing we have to do to save you from danger.
this is really making me crazy. i know you should be my keeper and protector and all, but now it seems as if you're the one who needs protecting eh. oh and i hate to tell you this because i'm sure you'll hate me for doing so but im starting to believe that it was a stupid idea. i do. the only reason why i didn't stop you is because i promised myself that i'll support you and because you told us you can do it and i didn't want to step on your pride by saying "no." and i owe it to you to believe that nothing bad will happen because you did get through everything alive, but i can't help but get worried.
Showing posts with label fraternity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fraternity. Show all posts
Friday, October 5, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I don't know a lot of things, i blame it on my lack of interest in watching the news. Being a UP student my brother said i am obliged to have something to say about the current issues and events in our country. And embarrassed, i mostly have nothing relevant to say.
But regarding Cris Anthony Mendez' death and the perpetual bloodshed among supposedly "brothers" i have more than enough to write about. When one of my friends announced his decision to join one of UP's most prestigious fraternities and said that nothing we say will stop him, I only said "don't die." he assured me his survival, the physical pain he can endure he said, if there's anything that scares him, it's his academic grades as the initiation process, that i think lasted more than a week, was the same week as his exams. i believed in him, but mostly i was scared. the first night of waiting for his arrival, i was thinking, that that was what everyone thought, that they can survive the initiation, the public humiliation and the hazing otherwise who would've joined? but still, many went down to join those in the list of fraternity deaths, including now, Chris Anthony Mendez.
Patricia Evangelista said, "I do not understand what sort of twisted logic can make intelligent men believe that friendship and loyalty need to be proven through a brutal initiation." i don't either. the reason why i never joined any organizations and sororities that involve anything physical is because time will not heal the memories as they do with bruises. in the back of my head the persons i will shake hands with will always be those persons who blindfolded me and hit me. they will remain the haunters of my dreams and shall never be my friends.
as i am at the moment in the apartment sofa trying to imagine Cris' moments before his decision that later on led to his death, what was he thinking? was he sitting on the tip of his bed thinking that this will give him good connections? that this will help him have a better future?
what future? those who promised they could help had already taken that from him.
what will 30 days of suspension do? will it bring back a good man's life? will it bring back a son? a brother? a friend? no. instead, in a few years time another name will hit the papers, another death will be told, because we still haven't found a way to stop this violent tests of friendship and loyalty. loyalty, now that's a bit funny, if Cris would've lived, Sigma Rho would've stood by him the way they now cover up those who have killed him. but no, because he died, he was left in the emergency room by those responsible, he was denied of having gone through the initiation process and this, this is what we call brotherhood.
But regarding Cris Anthony Mendez' death and the perpetual bloodshed among supposedly "brothers" i have more than enough to write about. When one of my friends announced his decision to join one of UP's most prestigious fraternities and said that nothing we say will stop him, I only said "don't die." he assured me his survival, the physical pain he can endure he said, if there's anything that scares him, it's his academic grades as the initiation process, that i think lasted more than a week, was the same week as his exams. i believed in him, but mostly i was scared. the first night of waiting for his arrival, i was thinking, that that was what everyone thought, that they can survive the initiation, the public humiliation and the hazing otherwise who would've joined? but still, many went down to join those in the list of fraternity deaths, including now, Chris Anthony Mendez.
Patricia Evangelista said, "I do not understand what sort of twisted logic can make intelligent men believe that friendship and loyalty need to be proven through a brutal initiation." i don't either. the reason why i never joined any organizations and sororities that involve anything physical is because time will not heal the memories as they do with bruises. in the back of my head the persons i will shake hands with will always be those persons who blindfolded me and hit me. they will remain the haunters of my dreams and shall never be my friends.
as i am at the moment in the apartment sofa trying to imagine Cris' moments before his decision that later on led to his death, what was he thinking? was he sitting on the tip of his bed thinking that this will give him good connections? that this will help him have a better future?
what future? those who promised they could help had already taken that from him.
what will 30 days of suspension do? will it bring back a good man's life? will it bring back a son? a brother? a friend? no. instead, in a few years time another name will hit the papers, another death will be told, because we still haven't found a way to stop this violent tests of friendship and loyalty. loyalty, now that's a bit funny, if Cris would've lived, Sigma Rho would've stood by him the way they now cover up those who have killed him. but no, because he died, he was left in the emergency room by those responsible, he was denied of having gone through the initiation process and this, this is what we call brotherhood.
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