on breakups

just because you're not answering any of my messages and because i won't be able to see you until this weekend if ever you do come home from work.

it'll be fine. you don't know how much i wish you didn't have to experience this to learn. but since it's happening, i do hope you learn from it. i hope you'd grow from it. and i wish you'd recover. maybe it's the time to finally do those things you talked to me about, things you planned to do 'if ever' you two are not together. you always knew you were destined for something better. but i know you love ate apple, planned your life together with her, and i know it sucks, but you'll get over it if you want to. when you find it hard to go on, you know that despite our differences i will always, always, be here for you. i love you, and i love ate apple too, we all do. but you're still blood and it's thicker than any ties with other people, we will always be on your side. and if only we could protect you from all the pain your experiencing now, we would. be strong kuya. i hate to imagine you weak and sad. i hate you most of the time, you know that, but i will hate you more if you sulk about it. especially if you do it without me.

i do wish you'd answer my messages though, i wish we could talk. you always come to me when things like this happens, and it sucks to not hear it from you. i love love love you kuya. be strong.

catching up

i've obviously been busy, the production has been filling up my sched. i lack sleep, food intake and time for pleasure. there are nights, midnights even, when i could just rain dennis gupa with all the possible profanities there is in this world. but then again, i so love pagbulas ng sibol.

i was so occupied that i wasn't able to write about my birthday, of which i had 3 parties. one from the apartment people + bop + gel +bian. one from my thespian circle family and one really green (literally) party from my girlfriends (sooo lesbian-haha!).

or about Bop's debut, which took so much effort since we have to rent a driver and pay a lot for the gas. and how from Bop's debut we went straight to Romjulea's debut in pasig, even though her real birthday is not until july. anyway, i love my blue dress which kuya paolo payed for, for a whopping 1,something. it's so simple, barbie like, body-hugging spag strap from sari sari.

bop, gel and i had a lunch date in bonitos. somehow, bonitos, always remind me of the three boys and that night when i had my superman hair. i know not why though, just that i do.

also that kuya rammil arrived last wednesday and we only have been together last sunday because i have to go back to Los Banos, and it's his retreat in Baguio. i was expecting a now blonde brother, but it's not as gold as we all expected it to be. he picked me up from my second play date in ruins. he was with two of his friends from singapore, and all four of us + eme had our dinner in iziz.

other than this, i mostly hang out at ruins. meddling with the props. having conversations with the other backstage people. getting all 'chums' with actors. trying hard not to look too sleepy. and trying harder not to feel sleepy.