of tagalog poems and broken dreams

it really should've been a lot easier for me if i was a bit more open to you. im sorry gelly. i know we're supposed to be bestfriends. it's good we had that dinner though, atleast now you know everything. at promise nga, i'd tell you everything.

argh, im such a bitch. i hate myself. strike three na ko since yesterday.

but anyway, last night when i was waiting for angela barrientos, i was playing with tine's laptop and would you believe that i still have my fil20 discussions close to heart? wala lang. i wanted to write something about sex, pero syempre profound and artistic naman. here's what i came up with:

Dagat ang unan
Tahanan ng luha
Mundo ang kama
Ng pusong sagasa

Hubad sa pagibig
Hubad sa kalinangan
Ngayong gabi ika’y kanya
Ngunit di sya sayo kalianman

okaaaaay. this is me trying real hard. hahaha! sorry na. it's unfinished though, i wanted to play with tagalog words. but i guess the topic's the problem, because i don't have anything to write about it. hoho. im such an innocent young girl. here's another crap:

matang napuwing ang pintuan
Na bukas-sara sa hangin ng gabi
Naisin mang ipikit ng tuluyan,
Iniwang mulat para ang yong aninong parating
Ay muling masilayan

nilamon ka na ng dilim
naghihintay pa rin
ang puso kong sa gabing ito
ay nagmimistulang bitwin

isang bitwin sa langit ng isang bilyon
walang panalo sa laban para kay luna
nakikisabay sa liwanag ng iba
habang nanunuod ng di pwedeng makita

isasara ko ang pinto
ipipikit ang aking mga mata
pagkat ngayong gabi ang mga bitwin
malalaglag ng isa isa

okaaaaaaaay. so i'm still trying to understand this one. (how could i not understand my own work? i dont know) but anyway, i give up. i've long forgotten the pain of not being able to come up with a decent tagalog poem. i guess it was sir dumlao's compliments on my "gakukong liwanag na sumilip sa cherva......" that regained my self-esteem. pero wag na lang talaga. i'm done with trying. haha! i wanted to be nick joaquin, and well, even he (our national artist for literature, duh) wrote in english. so can i. anyway, i remember how it felt when i was reading "act of revenge" i love it's local 'feel' eh. it's written so well, and yet you know that it's written by a filipino. i guess i can still write in english and still sound filipino. diba? but so long my dreams of being a poet of tagalog words. haha.

anyway, to end this, i just want to say that i hope......... bsta. don't hate me.